the train now departing

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new
electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said,

"All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is
the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your
asses on the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son,

"We don't use that kind of language in this house!!
Now I want you to go to your room immediately and you are to stay there for
TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but only of you
use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and
resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard
her son say,

 "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember
to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today
and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again
soon."

 The mother smiled as she heard her little son continue,

"For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your
seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a
pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother continued smiling, the child added,

"For those of you who are completely pissed off about the
f#*cking TWO HOUR delay, see the fat-arsed bitch in the f#*cking kitchen."